PRESIDENT MONKEY -- PREVIOUS

AL-QAEDA INTRODUCES
EARTH FRIENDLY HYBRID CAR BOMB
JAMES CAMERON TO MAKE WHACKY
ROAD MOVIE INSPIRED BY JESUS' TOMB

MORE ANNA BABY DRAMA
BIRKHEAD TAKING CASE TO BAHAMAS
SUPREME COURT/CALYPSO BAND

BUSH, CHAVEZ SETTLE WAR OF WORDS
ON MTV'S YO MOMMA
AL-QAEDA SURPRISES BIN-LADEN FOR
B-DAY WITH CLOWN SUICIDE BOMBER

MARCH MADNESS ADMITS TO HAVING
ANGER PROBLEM, SEEKS HELP

BUSH 'FLATTERED' BY COMPARISON TO
DUNKIN' DONUTS GUY
JAMES BROWN STILL NOT BURIED --
BODY CURRENTLY ON DISPLAY AT
CHURCH'S CHICKEN IN TEMPE
FOX TO SPIN-OFF HIT
'5TH GRADER' GAME SHOW WITH
ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A PRESIDENT?

'WILD HOGS' BOX OFFICE SUCCESS HAS

BILL MACY CONSIDERING PERMANENT

SWITCH TO CRAP MOVIES

GEICO'S CAVEMAN GETS SITCOM;

TUBBY KOOL-AID MAN TO DO

CELEBRITY FIT CLUB

WAL-MART TO FIRE 2 EMPLOYEES FOR SNOOPING...

AS SOON AS THEY LOCATE THEM WITHIN STORE

TRYING TO IMPRESS CUSTODY JUDGE

K-FED TAKES HIS KIDS FOR THEIR ANNUAL TATOOS

HILLARY COUNTERS OBAMA HOLLYWOOD, CA

FUNDRAISER WITH ROUSING HOLLYWOOD, FL SPEECH

REHAB INTRODUCES NEW SPEEDPASS

FOR TROUBLED POP STARS ON-THE-GO

JUDGE PROPOSES 'MY TWO-DAD'S' LIVING

ARRANGEMENT FOR STERN AND BIRKHEAD

MEDIA VOWS TO BE RESPECTFUL OF
ANNA NICOLE'S FUNERAL

ARE YOU ANNA NICOLE'S BABY DADDY?

YES? MAYBE? NEED CASH?

HURRY, ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST

WWW.IAMANNANICOLESBABYDADDY.COM

JETBLUE LAUNCHES NEW

AD CAMPAIGN

BRITNEY CHECKS IN AND OUT OF REHAB

-- APPARENTLY MISTOOK FACILITY FOR

MCDONALD'S DRIVE-THRU

U. OF ILLINOIS TO REPLACE STEREOTYPICAL

INDIAN MASCOT WITH UPDATED STEREOTYPE

TAINTED PEANUT BUTTER RECALLED
AFTER PICTURES SURFACE OF
PETER PAN POOPING IN JAR

TIME MAGAZINE EXCLUSIVE:
AL-QAEDA NO.2 AL-ZWAHIRI SAYS
HE'S TIRED OF 'BEING 2ND BANANA'
HOPES 'OLD MAN BIN-LADEN'
WILL RETIRE SOON
WON'T RULE OUT JUMPING TO RIVAL
TERRORIST FACTION
SAYS HIS FALLBACK DREAM JOB IS...
'ANYTHING WITH ANIMALS'

Developing...

BILL COSBY'S TERRIER WINS ROUND AT
WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW

NEW GRAND CANYON SKYWALK
ANNOUNCED
BUSH SAYS SECRET IRAN SUPPORT REASON
DIXIE CHICKS WON GRAMMY

GRAMMY IDENTITY MIX-UP
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS MISTAKENLY
RECEIVES JOHN MAYER'S AWARDS
SCISSORHANDS BONES
JESSICA SIMPSON AT AFTER-PARTY

Developing...
PRESIDENT MONKEY EXCLUSIVE:
ROSIE O'DONNELL TELLS LARRY KING
'I'M ANNA NICOLE'S BABY'S FATHER'

Friends Became Suspicious When Smith Grew Highly Coherent
Final Footage Sells for Over $500,000 and One Videographer's Soul...
Rosie Rants On Anna Nicole Hours Before Her Death...Trump Fears For His Life
Nancy Grace Said To Be 'Happiest She Has Been In Years.'

E! NETWORK TO DEVOTE ALL
PROGRAMMING FOR NEXT 3 YEARS ENTIRELY
TO ANNA NICOLE'S DEATH
HASTY TRIMSPA PRESS RELEASE BOASTS
SMITH LOST 21 GRAMS TODAY

Developing...

NASA SKIPS PSYCH TEST REVISIONS;
ANNOUNCES NEXT SHUTTLE CREW